Hey Jules, it’s “older Jules” checkin’ in! How’s it going? I am picturing you as an 11-year-old navigating your way through West Middle School for the first time with your braces, glasses, graphic tees, and no access to hair tools outside of a brush…yeah, our wavy hair loved the Hermione Granger look.
I have a few things I would love to tell you about our journey that might ease some of your anxieties (or whatever we thought was running through our mind back then).
1. Being “Independent” isn’t a bad thing.
You may think that holding onto your power and walking through life with outward-facing confidence is holding you back, but I am here to tell you it isn’t.
2. Friendships come and go.
This one will sting more than yet another failed “talking stage” with a guy…but, take any and all friendships, no matter how long or brief, as an opportunity to learn lessons about how you interact with others, how you can build one another up, and how to set boundaries when it comes to your heart.
3. “Caring TOO much” is not a thing.
Your empathy and ability to really throw yourself at a project, committee, friendship, relationship, family, whatever it is, is your superpower. Sure this may lead you to cry at the drop of a hat, or rather a Rice Krispies commercial, like mom does, but it is healthy to show your emotions.
4. Do you and do less.
This one may seem like what I said before about independence, but it is different; hear me out. Wear what you want, say what you want, listen to what you want, don’t let other people dictate what your interests are. You are cool because you are you, not because someone else told you that certain things are cool.
5. Start listening to NPR every morning.
Just giving you a head start on this one, it is one of our favorite parts of the day now. I don’t think this will mess up the space-time continuum too much—your future Doug Tribou impression will be better for it and your worldview.
6. “No.” is a full sentence.
I know it can be easy to just say “Yes,” or if you are in your future Broad City-era, “YAS QUEEN,” to everything, but there are some things you should say “No” to. You have to remind yourself that your time is precious, and so is your mental health. Guard and protect it.
7. Slide into DMs.
Now, this is more work-related but could also work for your social life as well. On the work side of the coin, how else are you going to get future Bravo-lebrities to work with your clients? (I am sure this sentence seems fucking nuts to an 11-year-old who has never heard of Bravo…oops) and on the other side, social media is about to take off in a weird way, so buckle up and use your love language of sending memes, videos, pictures, and tweets that remind you of your friends. It is such a small, passive thing that allows you to show up for your people, no matter how far the distance.
8. Make the uncomfortable decision.
At the end of the day, you HAVE to do what is right for you. This can be really hard because going the easy route can hurt less but the uncomfortable route will help you grow.
9. Be kind, not nice.
This is a newer one for us, but it can be so easy to get caught up in the niceties of things when in fact being direct, honest, and kind can be better for everyone in the long run.
10. Thank yourself.
You get down on yourself for not looking, acting, being a certain way. Please start thanking yourself more. Thank your body for keeping you alive, walking you through life, and keeping you sharp. Thank your mind and heart for your capacity to learn, grow and love. And finally, doing things for yourself is NOT selfish, it is actually another way of thanking yourself.
Okay, okay, now that I am done being sappy, run to 3rd period English and report back on A Wrinkle In Time. You will have so much time to read, play and grow until we chat next. Love ya, Sweet Jules, take care!
Love,
Older Jules
