You Are What You Drink: Holiday Cocktail Edition

holiday cocktails garnished with orange and cinnamon.

Nothing says holidays like a raging hangover. Since 2020 has been…a year, we wanted to help you along in your journey to a horrible next morning.

We’ve compiled what we feel is the holiday gift guide everyone truly wants. Don’t come empty-handed to a Zoom celebration. Bring one of these babies.

Also, let’s be real. What you drink says a lot about you. So here’s our breakdown of the best holiday booze and what they say about the one drinking them.


We support it. But there is definitely a hierarchy to the seltzer world, and quarantine has solidified this. There are some at the top of the list (White Claw) and some at the bottom (if anyone shows up with a Bud Light seltzer, we’re telling Santa). If you’re grabbing from the top of this list, you probably haven’t closed out of Instagram in weeks. Lower end of this, and you’re the type to binge on, like, 30 succulents at a time. We see you.


For those who want to avoid the gluten bloat of beer and like having a drink you can still have out of a can, cider is your thing. Or if you’re allergic to yeast (apparently this is a thing), this might be the beverage for you. If you’re a cider drinker, you’re like the beverage itself: sweet and spicy. Plus, no matter what, you linger in everyone’s memories after you leave. Nice.


So no matter what it is, if you’re drinking it straight on the rocks, you are a certified badass. We will not f*ck with you. You clearly know what you like and aren’t afraid of having your drink at full strength. We salute you. Cheers!


Let’s be real. This is the only time of year when you can drink a milkshake on a normal night and call it “festive.” You enjoy the sweet things in life, and you’ll find new and innovative ways to improve your day (eggnog in iced coffee? Yes, please). By all means, spike that shit and tip it back. You earned it.

Hot Toddies

If you’re drinking this, you’re either actively shivering or you’re sick. There’s no other reason. Period.

Mulled Wine

It’s like the grown up sibling of eggnog. You like your life warm and cozy with a touch of spice, and you know what? We can get behind that. Here’s a hint: try mixing your warm red wine with hot chocolate for some amped-up holiday fun. Speaking of…

Spiked Hot Chocolate

You are a kid at heart, and we support that. We’re here for the over-the-top, mountain-high pile of whipped cream, chocolate drizzle, and candy cane pieces. Go big or go home.

Coffee and Baileys

There are two types of people who drink this. You are either A) the overachiever of the group who is trying to be caffeinated and productive while riding the drunken high or B) you are the basic white girl who couldn’t go a day without a craft coffee from Starbucks.

Bloody Mary

The bloody mary crew is here for one reason, and one reason only: THE SNACKS served on the side. Honestly, respect for this crew. If we had to guess, this is also the person who carries snacks everywhere they go. #priorities


Where are the hydrated ones at? Anyone? No? Okay…

We hope you enjoyed our favorite blog of 2020. It’s filled with booze and more booze. In other words, we’re enablers and you’re welcome. Feel free to book some time with us. We’ll bring our own drinks.

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