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Unwritten Office Rules

Share the goods.

Jen, Principal of 8THIRTYFOUR, laying down the gavel after a team meeting.

We pride ourselves on being different. We’re a little weird and a lot sarcastic. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, because where’s the fun in that?
To continue our streak of satire, we thought we’d share our unwritten office rules.
They may be unwritten, but they are set in stone.
1. Every Wednesday, we can expect a team chat with the photo below from Bri, our PR Specialist.
A large bull frog with the words "it is Wednesday, my dudes".
2. If you finish the coffee, you make more coffee. This is times infinity. The coffee is never not available. 
3. Kim will haunt your dreams if you don’t post to the story on your Instagram day. It’s true, it doesn’t matter where she is. She sees all. 
4. If you come into the office and don’t greet the team you have to walk out and come back and try it again. What? Did your mama raise you in a barn? 
5. If you can’t recite all 5 core values, you will be publicly stoned. [SHAME]

6. If you show up not wearing color, you will again be shamed (apparently black, white and gray don’t count). 
7. Monkey Management: You can feed or shoot your own monkey, but never pass it to someone else. 
8. Kim will haze you into drinking. Just comply.
9. You must be able to quote Mean Girls or Bridesmaids at any given moment.
10. Put your earbuds in to tune out Bri and Chels talking about the Bachelor franchise every Tuesday.
11. Team members who don’t understand Goonies references/have never seen it before basically have to wear the cone of shame for a day. If you didn’t know, it’s Kim’s favorite movie.

12. Cat love is tolerated. Dog love is required.
13. You’re not officially part of the team until you’ve embarrassed yourself at an event.
14. If you’re buying lunch, you have to ask anyone else if they want to go in on the order. And if you’re including Kim, it had better be here by 11 a.m.
15. What happens at State of the Company stays at State of the Company.
So many rules and so little time to explain them all. We guess you’ll just have to stay tuned to our blog and podcasts to learn more about this cool culture we’ve created. Or you could just get to know us by getting in touch right now.

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Listen now at the link in bio.

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 18112263326023209
Have you tuned into The Happy Hour Hustle Podcast yet? If not, a) you’re missing out and b) you need to follow immediately. Hosted by @bodespeaks, episodes drop every other week, and feature some pretty bada$$ guests if we do say so ourselves. This week, Kim sits down with @kelsey_orchard , VP of Marketing and Communications at @fifthwheelfreight to chat building a personal brand, Gen Z entering the workforce, misconceptions about logistics, spotting fake LinkedIn profiles – oh and why your GPA doesn’t matter anymore. Grab a watermelon margarita, sit back and enjoy for lots of laughs and real talk. Listen now at the link in bio.

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We were not prepared for perimenopause, much like our periods, sex, or anything else to do with our bodies. God forbid we talk about it openly.

We were taught to be ashamed, keep quiet, and to accept that it is just part of being a woman. We reject that narrative. In fact, like @bodespeaks, we want to bring it up in every conversation.

When we normalize perimenopause and the conversation around it, we stop isolating, and we’re all more prepared.
Join us for Uncomfortable Conversations: The Pause on September 24th — a powerful conversation hosted alongside the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan
Women’s Business Council, featuring some kicka$$ experts who will give you the real talk on perimenopause (more to come on them later).

Register at the link in bio.

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 18132641716644887
National Perimenopause Month starts today. We have a LOT to say, and we’re not going to be quiet about it, especially this month, so buckle up. We were not prepared for perimenopause, much like our periods, sex, or anything else to do with our bodies. God forbid we talk about it openly. We were taught to be ashamed, keep quiet, and to accept that it is just part of being a woman. We reject that narrative. In fact, like @bodespeaks, we want to bring it up in every conversation. When we normalize perimenopause and the conversation around it, we stop isolating, and we’re all more prepared. Join us for Uncomfortable Conversations: The Pause on September 24th — a powerful conversation hosted alongside the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan Women’s Business Council, featuring some kicka$$ experts who will give you the real talk on perimenopause (more to come on them later). Register at the link in bio.

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 18089775152664042
You asked, we delivered. Introducing the Women's Owners Network - a new program built for what comes first, joining our proven Fellowship model to support Michigan women at every stage of business ownership. Whether you've got a team of 10 or it's just you and your laptop, you deserve a room full of women who get it. Six months of leadership, finance, operations, capital access, paired with real support for the isolation, emotional volatility, and decision fatigue that come with owning your own business. You'll have your own board of directors in your corner, including @bodespeaks plus a group of mentors, instructors, and coaches who've been exactly where you are. Applications due October 1. Apply now at the link in bio.

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 18026151482745649
"I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself" - Leslie F*ucking Knope You are the hero in your own story. Be like Leslie and believe it. Come to the Big Deal Energy Workshop, @bodespeaks will show you how. It's personal branding with a shot of tequila. Register in bio.
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