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Unwritten Office Rules

Share the goods.

Jen, Principal of 8THIRTYFOUR, laying down the gavel after a team meeting.

We pride ourselves on being different. We’re a little weird and a lot sarcastic. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, because where’s the fun in that?
To continue our streak of satire, we thought we’d share our unwritten office rules.
They may be unwritten, but they are set in stone.
1. Every Wednesday, we can expect a team chat with the photo below from Bri, our PR Specialist.
A large bull frog with the words "it is Wednesday, my dudes".
2. If you finish the coffee, you make more coffee. This is times infinity. The coffee is never not available. 
3. Kim will haunt your dreams if you don’t post to the story on your Instagram day. It’s true, it doesn’t matter where she is. She sees all. 
4. If you come into the office and don’t greet the team you have to walk out and come back and try it again. What? Did your mama raise you in a barn? 
5. If you can’t recite all 5 core values, you will be publicly stoned. [SHAME]

6. If you show up not wearing color, you will again be shamed (apparently black, white and gray don’t count). 
7. Monkey Management: You can feed or shoot your own monkey, but never pass it to someone else. 
8. Kim will haze you into drinking. Just comply.
9. You must be able to quote Mean Girls or Bridesmaids at any given moment.
10. Put your earbuds in to tune out Bri and Chels talking about the Bachelor franchise every Tuesday.
11. Team members who don’t understand Goonies references/have never seen it before basically have to wear the cone of shame for a day. If you didn’t know, it’s Kim’s favorite movie.

12. Cat love is tolerated. Dog love is required.
13. You’re not officially part of the team until you’ve embarrassed yourself at an event.
14. If you’re buying lunch, you have to ask anyone else if they want to go in on the order. And if you’re including Kim, it had better be here by 11 a.m.
15. What happens at State of the Company stays at State of the Company.
So many rules and so little time to explain them all. We guess you’ll just have to stay tuned to our blog and podcasts to learn more about this cool culture we’ve created. Or you could just get to know us by getting in touch right now.

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“It has been an incredible experience - getting to connect with women business owners from all across Michigan, learn from experts on planning for growth, and learn to lead to the best of my abilities for myself and my team.”

- @rcdutcher, CEO of @red66.marketing

We’re looking for business owners who thrive in collaborative environments and can fully commit to the program—attending all in-person sessions, participating in one-on-one coaching, and engaging in every aspect of the nine-month fellowship. Participants who gain the most come ready to contribute, learn, and problem-solve alongside other committed business leaders.

Applications close on September 15.

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 17899228887595814
“It has been an incredible experience - getting to connect with women business owners from all across Michigan, learn from experts on planning for growth, and learn to lead to the best of my abilities for myself and my team.” - @rcdutcher, CEO of @red66.marketing We’re looking for business owners who thrive in collaborative environments and can fully commit to the program—attending all in-person sessions, participating in one-on-one coaching, and engaging in every aspect of the nine-month fellowship. Participants who gain the most come ready to contribute, learn, and problem-solve alongside other committed business leaders. Applications close on September 15.

FUN FACT FRIDAY: It’s only fitting for us to own a building where a trailblazing female operated her businesses in 1906. The Phillips family represented one of the longest-running retail tenures in Grand Rapids history; L.E. Phillips Jewelry in the 1365 Plainfield Ave. building from 1906 until 1973.
Dr. Eva Phillips, a certified and licensed optometrist ran her practice out of the jewelry store’s secondary parlor and was an equal partner in the jewelry store.

Together, they offered a unique one-stop shot which expanded to include appliances, record players, and more. The couple operated the shop through two World Wars and the Great Depression, acting as the neighborhood matriarch and patriarch.

@crestongr @crestoncorridor @crestongrandrapids @citygrandrapids @grandrapidspubliclibrary

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 17898983202545176
FUN FACT FRIDAY: It’s only fitting for us to own a building where a trailblazing female operated her businesses in 1906. The Phillips family represented one of the longest-running retail tenures in Grand Rapids history; L.E. Phillips Jewelry in the 1365 Plainfield Ave. building from 1906 until 1973. Dr. Eva Phillips, a certified and licensed optometrist ran her practice out of the jewelry store’s secondary parlor and was an equal partner in the jewelry store. Together, they offered a unique one-stop shot which expanded to include appliances, record players, and more. The couple operated the shop through two World Wars and the Great Depression, acting as the neighborhood matriarch and patriarch. @crestongr @crestoncorridor @crestongrandrapids @citygrandrapids @grandrapidspubliclibrary

Have you tuned into The Happy Hour Hustle Podcast yet?
If not, a) you’re missing out and b) you need to follow immediately. Hosted by @bodespeaks, episodes drop every other week, and feature some pretty bada$$ guests if we do say so ourselves.

This week, Kim sits down with @kelsey_orchard , VP of Marketing and Communications at @fifthwheelfreight to chat building a personal brand, Gen Z entering the workforce, misconceptions about logistics, spotting fake LinkedIn profiles – oh and why your GPA doesn’t matter anymore.

Grab a watermelon margarita, sit back and enjoy for lots of laughs and real talk.

Listen now at the link in bio.

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 18112263326023209
Have you tuned into The Happy Hour Hustle Podcast yet? If not, a) you’re missing out and b) you need to follow immediately. Hosted by @bodespeaks, episodes drop every other week, and feature some pretty bada$$ guests if we do say so ourselves. This week, Kim sits down with @kelsey_orchard , VP of Marketing and Communications at @fifthwheelfreight to chat building a personal brand, Gen Z entering the workforce, misconceptions about logistics, spotting fake LinkedIn profiles – oh and why your GPA doesn’t matter anymore. Grab a watermelon margarita, sit back and enjoy for lots of laughs and real talk. Listen now at the link in bio.

National Perimenopause Month starts today. We have a LOT to say, and we’re not going to be quiet about it, especially this month, so buckle up.

We were not prepared for perimenopause, much like our periods, sex, or anything else to do with our bodies. God forbid we talk about it openly.

We were taught to be ashamed, keep quiet, and to accept that it is just part of being a woman. We reject that narrative. In fact, like @bodespeaks, we want to bring it up in every conversation.

When we normalize perimenopause and the conversation around it, we stop isolating, and we’re all more prepared.
Join us for Uncomfortable Conversations: The Pause on September 24th — a powerful conversation hosted alongside the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan
Women’s Business Council, featuring some kicka$$ experts who will give you the real talk on perimenopause (more to come on them later).

Register at the link in bio.

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Open post by 8thirtyfour with ID 18132641716644887
National Perimenopause Month starts today. We have a LOT to say, and we’re not going to be quiet about it, especially this month, so buckle up. We were not prepared for perimenopause, much like our periods, sex, or anything else to do with our bodies. God forbid we talk about it openly. We were taught to be ashamed, keep quiet, and to accept that it is just part of being a woman. We reject that narrative. In fact, like @bodespeaks, we want to bring it up in every conversation. When we normalize perimenopause and the conversation around it, we stop isolating, and we’re all more prepared. Join us for Uncomfortable Conversations: The Pause on September 24th — a powerful conversation hosted alongside the @smallbusinessassocofmichigan Women’s Business Council, featuring some kicka$$ experts who will give you the real talk on perimenopause (more to come on them later). Register at the link in bio.
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